The worst part of Christmas is the music, and Wham's "Last Christmas" is the worst. Again and again, George Michael sings "Last Christmas I gave you my heart / The very next day you gave it away / This year to save me from tears / I'll give it to someone special." Maybe it's because I used to ghost-write an etiquette column, but this deeply offends me. First of all, if you give a gift to someone, it's theirs--if the very next day they give it away, that's well within their rights. But George didn't give "you" anything--he's clutching his heart bitterly and trying to make himself feel better by making snotty jabs about how "special" you aren't. Ick. If I met a whiny creep like this and he gave me his heart, it'd take a lot less than a day for me to give it away. In fact, I'd return it!
No one would ever play this oldie but not-goodie if it weren't about Christmas--even "Everything She Wants" is better than this! But since it is about Christmas, we'll have to hear it in supermarkets and laundromats until the middle of January. Radio stations have radically altered their format for the season, and if you participate in this society, you will hear that Mariah Carey "All I Want for Christmas is You" record in the next three weeks, whether you want to or not. A Rosie O'Donnell Christmas album exists, and what I'm always thankful for this time of year is that the radio never, ever plays it, for some reason.
I heard "Last Christmas" last night in Nicky's Vietnamese sandwich shop on Second Street last night and, well, you can tell I was outraged. And then "Jingle Bell Rock" came on.
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2 comments:
my grandma loves that song and spends all december every year singing it in her heavy and getting a lot of the words wrong like this: "Lass cre'mas I gib' you my harr / de berry ness day / you throw ee' away / dees year to sabe me from tear / I gib' eet to someone speshool"
her heavy accent is wwhat i meant, maybe you can guess
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